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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561295">Peach Scone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krowpoly/pseuds/Krowpoly'>Krowpoly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Autistic Benrey (Half-Life), Black Mesa Sweet Voice, He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Benrey (Half-Life), M/M, Nonbinary Benrey (Half-Life), One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:27:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561295</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krowpoly/pseuds/Krowpoly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey &amp; Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Realization</h2></a>
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    <p>Benrey really liked Gordon’s presence, kind of his own first time he’s felt like this towards someone else, which causes him to show his affection in odd ways since well, he doesn't really know how to express it. Using excuses to follow him around, making kissing noises, flirtatious comments, and just doing his best to make Gordon react and notice him. They also really enjoyed pissing the other one off, seeing his flustered reaction and just basking in the laughter or just the silly angry faces he makes,  the irritated comments he snapped back at Benrey causing him to laugh more. He didn’t know why deep down until when he was alone, and off to the side. He began to think, process things and just vibe alone. Gordon was irritated so he decided to leave the guy alone, since he's just a piss baby man that gets so grumpy at his friend. But regardless they sat and thought, they thought about how they felt around Gordon and just fantasized about more future interactions together.</p><p>Benrey felt that similar fluttery feeling when they looked at gordon or got him to laugh but it felt stronger, almost bitter sweet. He choked out a few slick bubbles of sweet voice, Yellow to Mauve. Benrey looked at the colors, gripping his vest as he leaned against the smooth concrete wall, sliding down and polling to the floor. Their legs stretched out and their grip on their chest tightened as they looked down, helmet sliding forward and covering their eyes. His cheeks felt warm, acidic tears streaming down their cheeks. Why did this hurt, and yet feel so good? It felt like a cozy memory from your childhood that you won't ever be able to return to.  He tucked his legs to his chest and used their palms to push away the tears desperately, convincing noone that they weren't crying. He hates emotions, feeling things, especially feelings he couldn’t understand. Of course he knew what his sweet voice meant but, it still was confusing, what does he do with this information? Does he say something? What does this mean for him and Gordon? What will the others think of him? Questions swirled in his head as he continued to frustratedly wipe his tears away with his palm before just giving up and just curling up, his face in his hands as he just sat there, irritatedly. He didn’t even know why he was crying, but it was annoying, that's all he knew from it.<br/>
“Damn Gordon gotta make me feel shit... Fucking <em>cringe.</em>”</p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. the antagonist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the incident of Gordon getting his arm severed, he’s gotten more bitter, more angry with a poison to it. It wasn’t fun anymore and now it just hurts. Benrey didn’t want his arm to get chopped off, he really didn’t know this would happen. He even carried the guy out behind the garbage press so he wouldn't get crushed. Of course they wanted to stay and heal him but deep down they knew they couldn’t, The game had to continue. I mean he did heal him a bit so he wouldn’t bleed out while he was waking up, just enough to reduce the bleeding but other than that he left Gordon to continue the story.<br/>He watched as Gordon struggled by himself from the outside, just watching him. He really wanted to help but he couldn’t be Gordon’s savior, Tommy was. He watched with a pang of jealousy as Gordon and Tommy worked together, and pushed forward. They hated this but it had to be done, well besides the fucking arm thing. Eventually it was Benrey’s time to slip back into the story. They did their thing and dramatically went down on the elevator, hoping it'd make Gordon laugh, but there was nothing. Not even a small chuckle or anything, He just saw Gordon’s face twisted in disgust and anger as he saw them. Benrey realized at that point that Gordon truly hated him, it wasn’t playful anymore it was just rage, pure rage and disgust. He didn’t understand why because this is all a game, it would all end soon, but I Guess It was real to him for some reason.<br/>Benrey was by himself again, his frustration growing and he realized he began to cry, but instead of it being like last time feeling like a playful tease at his heart, it hurt, it hurt so badly. Knowing Gordon had felt nothing but anger and wanted them dead. They recalled the painful stabbing at his heart as they saw Gordon celebrate his deaths. They slumped against the wall and choked back a whine, putting their fists against the front helmet. Fuck why does this guy have to make things so difficult. Benrey sat there for a moment, just realizing more and more that Gordon didn’t love him at all. It hurt so fucking bad, they could feel the strangling tangling vine around their heart and throat all connected to Gordon,he was strangling Benrey, hands covered in thorns and whispering out words of venomous nothings into his soul. Benrey hated this the most, even more than when he realized how much he cared for Gordon <em>fucking</em> feetman. Gordon didn’t love him at all, he actually hated him so much that his death brought him so much joy, his face twisting in a smile as he shouted loudly in triumph, before falling back into a frown when he realized Benrey would never be truly dead. Benrey felt himself crumple to the floor as he frustratedly cried, balling his hands into fists and slamming them into his helmet. Gordon would never love him back, give him a warm smile, laugh with him ever again. Gordon never loved him back. Benrey sat there crying alone, his fists slightly bruised on the sides from hitting his helmet. His soft whimpering echoing through the hall. Why does this have to be how he rediscovers emotions? This is , just wallowing in their first heartbreak.<br/>Gordon doesn’t love him, and he’s realized that now. A painful realization, but he can’t do anything about it. They stood up and re adjusted their helmet, balling their hands into fists and just standing back up. There was nothing he could do to change anything, even the fact he had to be the antagonist in Gordon’s story.</p>
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